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She always dressed very class with a tiny hint of sexuality and had very conservative views. The time came for her to go to the gynecologist she seemed overly concerned about it and asked me to go with her. I did think a woman her age would have been to the OBGYN multiple times in her life and that it was a little odd that she was so concerned about going.The day came for us to go and it was a summer day, She was wearing a summer dress very classy and appropriate but she looked so sexy in it. I couldn’t help but get hard and was like that the whole way there.When we got to the office and checked in the receptionist told us that another OBGYN would be doing the exam. Her name was Rebecca Smith (named changed), my girlfriend became very anxious about having a female do the exam and asked if there was anyone else. There wasn’t and as the drive was about 40 minutes she didn’t want to reschedule.I asked her why she was so anxious about it and she couldn’t really give me an answer. I held. Not this time, I was drowning. None of my normal tricks like telling myself this is just a trip was working. I was losing my grip. I was scared I was going to start doing crazy shit like running in traffic or killing goblins disguised as my family members in the real world. I was free falling in the madness.As I’ve mentioned, I’ve practiced various forms of Magick throughout my life. Since my illness, I have leaned heavily into the myth and culture of my Ancestors. I’ve also restarted some of my magickal practices. It suits me and I find comfort in it. The reason I mention this is I wear for magickal reasons a bracelet. I was wearing it last night. Call it further delirium, or what you will, but I called out to it mentally and was instantly oriented. I was still on the carpet ride and absolutely terrified, but I was anchored.Eventually, I fell back to sleep. Only to have dreams where people were talking to me and I couldn’t understand them. Their voice sounded like several over laid.
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